I know I've told this story dozens of times, as has Brandon. He wrote it down the other night and read it to me and it still brings tears to my eyes. I wrote my thoughts in my journal about what had happened one night as I sat in my hospital room aching to be with my son. Brandon shared from the pulpit the week after Calvin was born that people say "You're probably getting sick of telling the story over and over again" but that's not how we feel. We love telling it and will share it with anyone who will listen because it is a testament to God's grace and mercy. So here it is...my version of 'the story'.
I didn't have an easy pregnancy by any stretch of the imagination. In the beginning, I had a lot of nausea which was normal, of course. Around the end of the second trimester/beginning of the third, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. After allowing myself about a day to be overwhelmed by it, I did a lot of research, got on a strict diet and had my numbers under control without medication or insulin. The same day my blood pressure started getting out of control and I was dealing with pregnancy-induced hypertension. I had swelling in my feet, legs and hands that had started in April. When my blood pressure got up to about 150/110, my doctor started me on blood pressure medication. When it still didn't go down, he put me on bed rest. That was on July 8. He also knew that Calvin would probably come before his due date and had me get the shots to help his lungs develop more quickly. I had labs run on that day, too. I got a call on Friday, the 9th saying that my numbers were fine and I was not preeclamptic, but I needed to stay on bed rest.
On Saturday afternoon, only 2 days later, I started having horrible upper abdominal pain. (From what I'm told, I have a very high pain tolerance.) I was supposed to be lying on my left side as much as possible, but with this pain, I could not lay, sit or find any tolerable position. I just walked around, which actually didn't help either. After almost 4 hours of this, and the pain just getting worse, I told Brandon that I thought we should go to labor and delivery at the hospital and see if everything was ok. We were both thinking that we were probably overreacting about nothing, but at the same time, I knew something wasn't right and this pain was not going away. I called my parents, who were on vacation in Colorado, and asked my mom if she thought we should go to the hospital and she said yes. I guess that sort of gave us permission or something, so we went.
When we got to labor and delivery around 6:00 that evening they put us in triage and hooked me up to monitors so we could measure contractions and Calvin's heart rate. He was doing fine and not under any stress. They had given me painkillers, however, and my pain was only increasing. I was in such bad shape that they couldn't find a vein to hook me up to an IV. They finally brought in an anesthesiologist to do it. In all they tried about 4 times before getting it. Ouch! After running some labs and seeing that my blood pressure was pretty high they decided to keep me in the hospital until Monday and keep monitoring both baby and me. (We later found out that the abdominal pain was due to my liver swelling. I had developed preeclampsia very quickly and in the most severe way. If we had not gone to the hospital and I may have gone on to develop eclampsia which can involve seizures, blindness, deafness and going into a coma.) We had been in triage for a few hours and they were going to put me in a room. In the meantime, Brandon had been wonderfully keeping everyone updated. So he told them that we were going to a room so they could keep an eye on things and he would update them the next day. Once the hospital contacted the on-call doctors (there were 2 different doctors on call for my OB and my high risk doctor), they came back about 30 minutes after they said we were staying until Monday and said "We're going to go ahead and take him now."
This is where things started seeming unreal and going in slow motion or something. My first thought was Is that possible? Can they do that? Brandon and I were both pretty shocked. I was kind of out of it because of the pain and medication. Brandon started signing papers and they began prepping me for an emergency c-section. Everything happened so fast. They did a spinal block so that I could be awake and Brandon could be in the room. Dr. Thornton, the anesthesiologist that put in my IV, asked us if we had a camera. Of course we didn't, we had the clothes on our backs. During the delivery, he took lots of pictures on his phone for us and emailed them to us later. He was really amazing. In fact, every person in the room was incredible. Considering both doctors who delivered Calvin were people we'd never met, we trusted we were in good hands and rightfully so. Calvin's doctor, who I didn't meet until days later, was amazing as well. She actually retired two days after we brought him home.
At 10:33 pm that night Calvin was here. Unbelievable. When I got out of recovery, which I vaguely remember, they rolled my bed into the NICU to see him. I don't remember seeing him. Then, as they rolled me to my room, now about 12:30 am, there were maybe 15-20 people lining the hallway outside my room. I was so confused, wondering what these people were doing here so late. I smiled at them the best I could and went to sleep.
The next day they had put Calvin on a respirator to help him breathe. I was on Magnesium and my numbers continued to get worse before they started getting better. Because of this, I wasn't allowed to get out of bed, meaning I couldn't go see my son. Looking back, this was the absolute hardest part of all. Brandon would go see him and bring me pictures on his phone. Day 3 in the hospital, Dr. B took me off magnesium and let me get up so I could take a shower and get in a wheelchair to go see Calvin. They had moved him to an isolated room since the noises of NICU seemed to really be bothering him. We went into his room and I saw him hooked up to all these tubes and I just sobbed. It was completely overwhelming. Later that day Dr. Sutter told us they did a cardiogram and found that a valve that was supposed to be closed off was wide open. They were going to attempt to close it using medication. If that didn't work they would need to do a procedure. The next morning she came in and told us it had worked! We cried.
I healed from my surgery quickly and, from what the antepartum nurses said, with less pain medication than they had ever seen anyone need. On Wednesday at 5:00 pm, I was released from the hospital to go home. Without Calvin. For the next 2 weeks we drove back and forth the hospital 4 times a day. After a week of being on the respirator, they took him off and he was in an oxygen tent for less that 24 hours. His progress just got better and better with breathing, weight gain, and eating. Before we knew it, the time came to room in with him. On July 27, we packed our stuff and went to stay with him. It was the most exhausting night of my life. Every time he moved or made a noise I was wide awake checking on him to make sure he was ok. We survived.
On July 28, he did the car seat challenge, we went over paperwork and put him in the car to drive to our house. Again, it was somewhat of a shock. Since he was born, Calvin was surrounded by incredible nurses and doctors taking care of him and now it was up to us. It was exciting to have him with us, but it was also terrifying. We prayed and prayed and prayed and now God had answered. Calvin was healthy enough to come home.
Brandon and I are so grateful for so many things...for the wonderful doctors and nurses who took care of me and of Calvin...for the wonderful people and families we met in NICU, who offered comfort and support when we felt helpless...for our friends and family who continue to meet our needs everyday. Most of all, we feel blessed that God has allowed us to go through this difficult trial. It has strengthened our faith in Him, our marriage and challenged us as parents beyond what we thought we could handle. He is so good and every time we share this story, our prayer is that it is communicated that, even with all of the wonderful people involved, it is because of Jesus and for His glory that Calvin is here. May He be exalted through everything we think, say and do!
